As caregivers, one of the most valuable skills we can develop is the ability to validate the feelings of those we care for. When someone is asking the same question repeatedly, known as perseveration, it is often a sign of anxiety, confusion, or a deep need for reassurance.
If we dismiss their question or emotion, the repetition is likely to continue. But when we take a moment to acknowledge their concern and help them feel heard, we’re offering something more powerful than an answer, we’re offering connection.
We also know that hearing the same question over and over can be exhausting. Every person is different, which is why it’s important to find a response strategy that fits the individual’s needs.
Try This:
If someone is stuck asking, “Where is Tom?” over and over again, consider writing a simple note such as:
Tom is at the store. He will return. Tom is safe.
Each time they ask, gently refer them to the note. With repetition, they may begin to look to the written reminder rather than relying solely on verbal reassurance. This technique can reduce stress for both the caregiver and the person being cared for.
By validating feelings and offering clear, consistent responses, we not only meet a need—we bring calm, safety, and dignity to dementia care.
Together, let’s rethink dementia care.